Alternative goal music suggestions

The Piranhas The Piranhas
Jamie Smith July 16, 2012
Gin n juice by Snoop 3 years ago

Burnley’s annual goal music debate is set to get underway. Jamie Smith has some suggestions.

Some people like goal music. Some people don’t like goal music.

The Club’s official annual poll aimed to settle the argument once and for all – but the results were disappointingly inconclusive. The Club claimed victory for music with a 44 per cent ‘majority’ – but that still means 56 per cent either didn’t want it or had no view either way.

So that debate will continue – but I’ve got a few ideas that could solve the problem straight away. You’re all welcome.

First up – a goal music section of the ground. Sound daft? Dafter than singing sections? Nah. Stick all the goal music fans in one stand and then we can see if they’re celebrating more than the non-goal music fans. Obviously, the music only gets played over the PA into that stand. That should be feasible. It’s 2012, after all.

Second choice – headphones for goal music fans. Fans at cricket, snooker and other sports listen to commentary during the game. The club could supply goal music fans with some headphones to pump music into their ears when we score. Again, everyone’s a winner as non-goal music fans don’t have to hear it. When the game is a bit dull, for instance if there hasn’t been a shot for five seconds, the Club could pipe in a clown’s laughter to keep everyone entertained.

Third option – don’t let people who like goal music in the ground. Send them to a funfair instead. This is a winner, I reckon.

Number four – come up with something unique to the club for goal music. If we’re going to do it, let’s not copy other clubs and let’s come up with something we can be proud of. Well, perhaps not proud, but maybe less ashamed. This should be an absolute no-brainer if it has to be a yes for goal music.

Last one, adopt John Cage’s classic work 4″33 as our goal music. I reckon that’d be perfect for goal celebrations.

These are just off the top of my head in half an hour, a starting point for the debate. If we start next season playing Tom Bastard Hark when we score, I’m going to kill a kitten.

Got a better idea? Like one of ours? Comment on the right.

  • Kevin Robinson

    We had ‘Umbaba’ a few years ago which certainly was original and had meaning to the Club. I thought it had real potential but the Club went back to Tom Hark after three games.

    Similarly they experimented with no music a year later but that only lasted two games.

    • Jamie Smith
      Jamie Smithin reply to Kevin Robinson

      Away goal celebrations are so much more fun. No music, then a bit of UmBaBa-ing. If you watch the crowd carefully when Tom Hark is played, yes some people do clap to the music BUT a lot of people STOP jumping around. It regulates the celebrations and I just find it a bit sad.

      You can have your fun, but only to this tune that makes us look Sunday league.

      • Chris Stanworthin reply to Jamie Smith

        When watching the Manchester Utd game back again, Tom Hark made us seem really, really small time. I went along with it then, as it was an amazing moment – it does cut short celebrations for many in an ordinary game though.

        • Kevin Robinson
          Kevin Robinsonin reply to Chris Stanworth

          It was definitely most embarrassing in the Premier League. Only the likes of Wigan play music up there. Can you imagine Tom Hark sounding around Old Trafford?

          • Chris Stanworthin reply to Kevin Robinson

            Bit of Simply Red, maybe?

        • Jamie Smith
          Jamie Smithin reply to Chris Stanworth

          If we hadn’t had Tom Hark played after that goal, people would still be celebrating it on the Longside. FACT.

  • Quoonbeatz

    People who like goal music are mongs.

  • Mike Mada

    Personally I don’t like the music. I must remind you that even though 44% is not the overall majority, it obviously is of those who cared to vote – and as such it is the majority of those who felt strongly either way. The 519 souls who made the effort to keep the music shall have their way, for this is democracy. Such is the way of the world these days. The silent majority are indeed deciding not to care about an outcome.

    • Mike Madain reply to Mike Mada

      By the way, in the John Cage piece, around 1:40 I swear Brian Laws is shown with his violin. After that, I couldn’t listen anymore, it was too riveting.

  • Stephen Cronshaw

    What’s wrong with clapping,cheering or shouting ??

  • Steve B

    To salvage some dignity from the goal music debacle, a compromise may be to play it after the supporters have registered their vocal appreciation, rather than the split second the ball crosses the line.

    • Jamie Smith
      Jamie Smithin reply to Steve B

      Problem with that is the club wouldn’t be able to point at all the celebrating that is apparently spontaneously caused by Tom Hark when defending it…

  • Chris Stanworth

    I note there was no mention in the survey results of my suggestion to play Rammstein as the teams come out, to scare the opposition…

    • Jamie Smith
      Jamie Smithin reply to Chris Stanworth

      That’s just typical, isn’t it!

  • Ben Peacock

    All my best memories of games are at ones where there wasn’t any goal music. Preston away after Jack Cork scored. Villa away in the Cup when Carlisle headed home. Wembley as Elliot scored. Jay scoring at Hull to make it 3-2. Then goal music at Turf Moor for the United game… awkward… – think that shows the story… GOAL – MENTAL, goal music DURR DURR DURRRRR, goal music stops, few how are yous? Then sit down…

  • Ben P

    Gin n juice by Snoop

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